I’m writing this at 5.20am; I’ve been up since about 4am. It’s been a couple of weeks now since I’ve started waking for 1-2 hours during the night, but this is the first time I’ve given up and decided to do something productive over lying in bed wishing for sleep. But that doesn’t explain why I haven’t posted for a month.
It’s not because I’ve been too busy, although I have been pretty productive this month. I’ve been writing, developing courses, catching up with people, and scheming. When I think back, I’m pretty happy with how much I got done – I even got an answer to the ‘what the hell is going on with my health?’ question (lack of vitamin B12). But that doesn’t explain the silence on the blog either.
Honestly, it simply hasn’t been the focus, but is that good enough?
I may be failing you
Structure, Serve and Write are my three words for this year – and it would seem that I’ve been failing you on all accounts. In my structure, I am supposed to write on my blogs every Monday. That includes this one and the dinkylune blog, but I’m not even going to discuss that because it does my head in. That’s four Monday’s where I haven’t followed the structure – although last Monday I had to drive up north and train, and the one before was a public holiday so Derek was home. See how easy those excuses come, and that’s what they are.
Maybe I’ve been serving you by not writing; by not giving you another piece of content you feel compelled to read in this increasingly overwhelming world of information. Yeah, that almost sounded convincing. I did publish a post for Thrive Global about Life Balance, but I didn’t even take the time to post that here to serve you with content.
So how about writing then? That’s actually been going pretty well. Not as consistent as I want to be, but I’ve produced a lot of words in the last month. Some fiction, posts, book content and lots of course material. But nothing here, and nothing for my subscribers either (that’ll be later today).
But does that mean I’m failing
The thing is, I don’t feel like I’ve been failing. It feels like I’ve gone local with all of my efforts this month, which has been an interesting shift from thinking about online a lot. Local training, meetings and mentoring; I was even the interviewer in an ‘in conversation with’ at a book launch last Thursday. To be honest, I’ve felt more connected over the last couple of months because of that.
Yes, I’m failing in my structure, and I definitely need to get back to that in a big way because there is a lot of work coming. But I’ve still been serving and writing, so it’s not all bad. Now to regain the equilibrium to serve and write online as well as off – let’s get that fourth ball back in the air.
Importantly, I haven’t been beating myself up about it, which is a bit of a nice change. Not that I go to town on myself like I used to, but I can still be nasty to myself at times. Maybe it’s the fact that I feel like I’ve still been achieving, just with a slightly different focus than I planned. Or maybe it’s the fact that I’m being more vigilant about giving myself a break. Regardless, the self-kindness is working a treat at the moment, which makes a lot of difference to how I’m handling things.
So, I’m not going to apologise, because I’m not sorry for the lack of posts. But I am going to shift my focus back and get some more content up in the coming months. I’m currently writing a series about our faulty human brains that I’m sure you’ll enjoy. In the meantime, feel free to comment if there is a topic you’d like me to include here – or even to let me know that their are people with a pulse reading this 😉