Quarterly Reflection 3 - only 3 months left

The completion of the third quarter snuck up on me in many ways. The last two months have been crazy busy at work, so my Year of TED project has taken a bit of a back seat. That's been a little challenging since most of the activities for this period have been very involved, hence the reason I'm currently adding a fortnight to the end of choice and being wrong.

30 days of preconceptions

This activity made me realise how quick I am to categorise people, and how wrong those categorisations generally are if the surface is scratched.

I enjoyed this activity in many ways. It really stretched me beyond my comfort zone to write some of the posts that I did during this time, particularly the asylum seeker post. It surprised me how much I really do categorise and, as a result, judge people that I come across. This shouldn't have surprised me I guess, I know that I can be very judgemental, but I was really quite shocked about it.I did challenge myself to go beyond that initial judgement though, to consider the other stories in people's lives and adjust the way I thought about them and interacted with them accordingly. I also started the I am not just a... blog, which became important for 30 days of starting a movement.

I have tried to be more mindful of this after completing the activity. It's not something that I am vigilant about, but a number of times I have caught myself in interactions with others taking a mental step back and trying to think about what else is going on.

This was a very important activity to do, and I really think that everyone should take time to realise just how quickly they label and judge the people they meet everyday. It is a real eye-opener, which is why I tried to push it as a movement.Thank you Chimamanda, Bill and Derek for three wonderful talks that really made me think about how I view and interact with other people. These are invaluable lessons that I think we all get too busy to remember in our daily lives, I am going to try hard not to forget.

30 days of letters

This activity allowed me to connect with some special people in my life and let them know how important they are to me.

There is a power to the written word that becomes even more influential when you take the time to hand write it. This was an extremely challenging activity, since I was saying things in the letters that I had never said before. I don't know why it made me feel so incredibly vulnerable to do this. Maybe it's because the written word can be interpreted in so many different ways, but I think that it was mainly due to the fact that, like many people, I am really bad at saying the important things.

I enjoyed the creativity of this activity. It was wonderful to get some of these feelings out and I think that all of the letters were well received (I still haven't heard from one recipient). I still have to write my parents' letters, I will do that before the project ends. There are probably another couple of other letters I should consider writing as well, I'll think about that before I finish.

One last thing I will say, a couple of the people I wrote to sent me back a letter, and in this very electronic age there is nothing quite like getting a handwritten letter in the post. There is just something so special about knowing that someone took the time and effort to hand write the words for you; try it and you will find out what I mean.Thank you so much Lakshmi for a wonderful talk that has helped me say things I was never brave enough to before.

30 days of starting a movementThis activity reminded me that I need to keep my limitations in mind when I come up with ideas to tackle.

This activity was a classic example of biting off more than I could chew, and I think that I knew this going into it. I've said this many times, I am an introvert, so promoting a movement and trying to get some traction was always going to be an extreme challenge. I'm not going to go into the whole post-mortem about this activity again, feel free to read the reflection post if you want to know why this one was a failure.

I learned a lot from the failures in this activity, if my current activities are teaching me anything it is that we can often learn more from getting things wrong than being right. Since the initial reflection post I've had a little more time to sit with this activity, and the things that went wrong with it. What I've come to realise is that as a leader I am a great follower, and no that is not counter-intuitive.

The thing is that this activity put me further outside my comfort zone than probably any others to date, and I did that knowing that I was going to fail. But I wanted to see what I could do when I put by mind to it, and I am proud of the fact that I pushed the whole 30 days, that I didn't give up on it.

Thank you Derek, Seth and Susan for talks that helped support me through a very challenging activity. They really helped me understand what I was striving for, and what I failed to achieve.

30 days of leadership

From this activity I came to understand my leadership style better, and developed an understanding of future-based language and how valuable it can be.

There was always going to be an activity based around leadership, this is something I have spent a lot of time thinking about over the last decade. I've always had a concern that I wasn't a very good leader, but what I've realised is that in many ways I was confusing leadership and management. The main limitations I thought I had were more management related than leadership.

What I've realised through this activity is that I am quite happy with my leadership abilities, although I could always improve on them. And I did improve a little by finally understanding what David Logan and Steve Zaffron mean by future-based language.

More than anything though, I think that the most important thing to come out of this activity was an acceptance on my introverted leadership style. Susan Cain's talk and book have been such a revelation for me. Not only do I understand that my style is not 'broken' as I have previously felt, but I'm also clearer about how I can support other introverts as well.

Thank you Barry, David and Susan for the inspiration of your talks. I know that I tried very hard to incorporate them and do them the justice they all deserve.

How do I feel at the nine month mark?

In a word, tired! Due to the way that I have been doing the quarterly reflections I have not spoken about the activities for July in this post, but I am including them in this reflection on my feelings at the nine month mark. I think that human beings are only capable of coping with so much in their lives, and I've had a few days in the last month where I feel I'm reaching that point.

These are not easy activities that I have been taking on, they are challenging aspects of my personality that are fundamental to the way I view myself. And every time I challenge part of this I have to acknowledge the weaknesses that I know exist in my personality that I choose, as I'm sure most of you do, not to dwell on most of the time.

It means that I have had some very confronting moments over the last nine months. Some have made me very teary, some have made me anxious and others have made me angry. I don't really know where I will end up on the emotional scale at the end of this project though. At this stage I guess that I am quite proud of myself given the things I have achieved and the growth I have experienced during the project so far, but I also carry some disappointment.

I guess I'm feeling a little stripped bare and vulnerable, but at the same time I feel more courageous and centred. And in all honesty, I'm a little bit glad that I only have three months left of this project. I really don't know how much more I can challenge the intrinsic parts of my nature, especially since I know a couple of the activities that are still to come.

A question for you, the reader

As I'm being very reflective on the last nine months while writing this I have some questions for you guys. Has there been an activity that you have enjoyed more than the others? Is there anything that I haven't covered that you think I should have? Are you getting anything out of this blog at all?