Revisiting the lessons from My Year of TED - Activities 1 and 2
We're almost a third of the way into 90 Days of TED, and it's been a fascinating process so far. The participants have had all sorts of interesting insights, some much like my own experience and others completely different. I think that this is the beauty of the content and the structure of the course, it allows everyone to take their own journey, since we all have different trigger points and issues.Writing up all of the content and discussing these talks and activities with participants has reminded me of some of the valuable lessons from the project that I have casually forgotten. I say casually forgotten because it's not like I have forgotten them entirely, but on a day to day basis I do forget them - I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.So, I thought that I would do a bit of a series of posts about those lessons I am revisiting as I guide other people through this process.Fashion and pushing outside your comfort zoneI was reminded just how traumatising this activity had been for me, watching other people struggle with shifting their fashion mindset. For me this was all about allowing myself to be seen, the first huge step towards increasing my vulnerability.
Looking back, it's not like the outfits were outrageous or controversial, but they were a change from my 'uniform' of blending into the background. My wardrobe has toned down a bit from that experience, but the concept of it has remained. I am more conscious about the clothes I wear, the outfits I create for myself - especially when I am choosing 'hiding' clothes. Now, if I create an outfit that allows me to hide I know that there is something I am uncertain of, something I need to address, and I do that.Who would have thought that a six minute talk about Wearing nothing new would have had such a profound impact on my understanding of myself and my inner workings? I think Jessi Arrington might have known, hence the reason she took the stage to share that idea. Thank you Jessi.Thanking and praising othersThe group of participants is an interesting mix, quite diverse in their backgrounds and personalities, which is great. Some of them were always going to find this activity quite easy - but they still struggled with having the conversation about how they want to be thanked.
I can't say that I've perfected that skill, although I have had a couple of conversations since this activity about how I want to be thanked, or that I need to be thanked for something. It is a very strange process to ask for thanks, but I have worked out why I don't like to do it - well one of the reasons. Mostly, I get this thought in my head that I'm still not great at thanking and praising others, so if I ask for thanks or praise then they might throw it back at me that I don't do it for them. Admittedly I could counter with "then maybe you need to learn to ask for it as well", but I know that some internal part of me would start beating myself up for being a horrible, selfish person. So, best not to ask really :-)Overall, I think that this is still one I need to be more mindful of, I need to get back into the giving mindset - the mindset of "how can I make your day a little nicer".How about you? Do you thank and praise the people in your life enough? Are you someone who is good at asking for thanks and praise?Next time... Listening skills and the Three As of Awesome.