This is what happens when life gets in the way

Almost four years ago I started My Year of TED, a project designed to help me sort out who I am and what I want to give the world; a project that would allow me to make some significant, and minor changes in my life; a project that would put all of my TED acquired knowledge into practice. It might seem strange that I am kicking the promotion up a little, and will soon be selling the My Year of TED blog as a book – but there are always reasons for our actions.

Note: I'm going to refer to My Year of TED as MYoT sometimes as well.

I thought I should take the opportunity to explain this apparent disconnect. Whilst it might seem like I did this huge thing, then sat around for a couple of years and did nothing, and now I’m talking about it again; nothing could be further from the truth. As with the lessons I learned during the year itself, the post-project experience has taught me a lot more about who I am, and what I want to give the world.Before I start, I’d like to say, I’ve had a few people critical of the fact that I haven’t capitalised more on MYoT before this time. To some extent, that criticism is warranted – but I also think it is indicative of a broader issue that I need to discuss. See, I don’t think that allowing all of these learnings time to settle in my life and in my mind has been a bad thing. Yes, I would have loved a book deal as soon as the project finished – but I know now that I would have been very unhappy with that book. I wrote that book, and the work I created just after the project is nothing like the book that is now developing.

Sometimes it’s okay to Slow Down and allow yourself time to learn something in a different way – rushing seldom produces a great outcome.

So, here is the timeline of what happened, and why it’s been such a long time between completing MYoT, and this activity; it’s been an interesting journey from there to here - oh, and these are not excuses, it's simply telling the story of where I went off track, and how I got back to here.

My Mental Health

I stumbled over the finish line of the project, battered and bruised from the final six activities; combined with insane work commitments, and physically building our house. The result was a clinical depression diagnosis in January 2013, and a decision to opt for medicinal support.

Squandered Opportunities

I'd played it small with the blog, only dabbling in sharing its existence throughout the year. Then, TED published a blog post about the project in early 2013, and I was invited to speak at Disruptive Tasmania - I failed to capitalise on either of these opportunities, but I loved sharing my story.

Plenty of Changes

I finally had an epiphany about the frustration with my job, and resigned from the government in June 2013. I took a consulting job, and we moved into the house we had been building for the previous three years. I was now working from home, and started plotting what I could do to achieve my Why.

Some Progress

The end of 2013 is a bit of a blur. I came off my medication; published Living with Intent: The 10 Steps to Defining Your Why from My Year of TED, and Finding Your Way Home: the dinkylune manifesto; and applied to speak at TEDxHobart. The last month was spent writing that talk, and freaking out about giving it.

The Fear Detour

I was very happy with my TEDxHobart talk, which featured on the TED Blog in January 2014. I still wasn't sure how to capitalise on it, and unfortunately I allowed an 'expert' to confirm my fears. This resulted in me detouring away from MYoT, and focusing on making a business I didn't truly want; dinkylune launched in July 2014.

All was not lost

There were two amazing experts/mentors that came into my life at this time to redirect me back; they certainly had a positive impact, but I still think I wasn’t ready. While I was consulting and focusing on 'tangible' skills, there was a glimmer of hope when I launched 90 Days of TED - a course based on the activities from my project. Sadly, I played small again, launching as a local course in Hobart. It was supposed to go online, but I learned I needed to split the content; I just haven't had the focus to do that yet.

Stumbling on…

Another 'expert' took too much of my focus in early 2015, but the result was a strengthened resolve to trust my gut. The problem was, my gut was telling me something in the business wasn't right; but I wasn't ready to see the problem. I did finally move MYoT from Blogger to Wordpress - a long, overdue change.

Regaining clarity and direction

I knew what the problem was, but I was scared to take action - I needed to move all of the My Year of TED related content off dinkylune and onto this website (which I could do now it was on Wordpress), AND get my focus back. A wonderful business strategist helped me realise that, and gave me the arse kicking I needed to push for this.

So, what went wrong?

It’s been a long and difficult journey to get here. Looking back on it, I can honestly say that I think the major issues were:

1. Listening to experts who had no idea about my situation – or self-labelled experts that I shouldn’t have trusted in the first place.

2. Not accessing the right experts – I didn’t realise early enough, and finding the right ones is hard.

3. I didn’t know what I didn’t know – and trying to learn kicked my self-confidence about.

4. Fear of success – I’ve played small with this the entire time. I should have been out promoting myself in mainstream media years ago, but I was too scared to do it. Not because I feared failure, but because I feared owning it.

5. Fear of responsibility – this is a whole other post, but I’ve realised why I’ve balked at promoting this. I don’t like being responsible, see a whole post is needed. I need to get over that feeling, because I’m only responsible for what I did with it.

6. I stopped believing it was extraordinary – there’ll be another post about this too.

And what now...

1. Turning the blog into a book – it's with the editor now, I'm hoping to self-publish the ebook at least for a 1 November launch; the four year anniversary since I started this thing.

2. Pulling all MYoT content off the dinkylune website – well underway now, but I'm rewriting the manifesto.

3. Media campaign to get it out there – my heart races just typing that.

4. Getting the speaker kit out there – now I’m starting to sweat too.

I’m scared out of my mind that my critics are right, and I’ve waited too long – but I might just be even more scared that this will come off in a big way.

Come join me for more fun and games!

As mentioned in the last few posts, you can now subscribe to My Year of TED! As well as the current freebies, and staying up to date with posts and content; you will also have the opportunity to win a copy of the book. During November, I will be giving away 5 copies each of the physical book and ebook. I will also be giving away 10 copies of the Living with Intent ebook in December, and there will be another two prize packs given away for Christmas this year (yes, they will include a physical copy of the new book too).

On top of that, I am looking for 10 people to receive advance copies of the blog book – I will sort a title out soon. The deal is a free advance copy for an honest review; if you’re interested, join the mailing list and simply reply to the welcome email. If you're already a subscriber, email me and let me know you're interested. It's a first in situation for these copies.I'll also be running the book title and cover past my social media followers and subscribers too, so if you have any ideas or would like to have some input - join the tribe!