I'm not a Natural Networker - shocking isn't it!
I took on another Yes activity last night, an event turned up in my Facebook feed on Monday. It sounded interesting, but then I had the usual responses I won't know anyone, I'll have to network, I don't know if I can this week - seriously, this is my natural response to networking events, and I hate that this is the go to response.But I stopped myself and decided that I would go. After all, I enjoy meeting new people, especially people with like interests. I had a lovely night, learned some very interesting things, and met some lovely people.
The ironic part
This is where I tell you that this was my response, even though I was prepping materials for the Business Networking training I am delivering in Melbourne next week. Yes, you read that correctly - this is how I feel about networking, and I'm training networking to other people!Okay, maybe it's not that ironic, after all I think it would be less appropriate for a natural networker to train these skills, if they have never struggled with them. I've had to learn this all for myself, so I think I come from a better place to explain the required skills. But, just because I still have a slight dread to these events, it doesn't mean I can't do it.As an introvert, I'm not naturally comfortable with small talk, and that made me feel quite socially broken for a long time - before Susan Cain's wonderful TED Talk and book about introversion. When I started understanding that aspect of my personality, everything clicked into place.I love connecting with people, so I should enjoy networking - but 'networking' is often about everything but connecting! In most situations, it's people talking about meaningless topics and trying to work out what they can get from you - or how they can get away from you once they realise that you aren't potentially beneficial to them. That is the networking I have a problem with; and I should have known that last night's event would not be like that at all.
It's been in my face a lot lately
As so often happens when something becomes a focus for me, I see it everywhere. This article from the TED Ideas site came up in Facebook for me the other day - How to turn small talk into smart conversation. I do contend that if you tried some of these disruptive replies people might start avoiding you at the event, but I love the idea.Combined with this, I did two networking activities last Thursday - admittedly a little less daunting since I knew a few people at each. But they were a great reminder that I should get out more, and do networking the way I like to do it. That means, finding one or two people I can have a more substantial conversation with, and work out if there is a way I can help them at all.I will happily admit that in the last couple of years I have done far more one-on-one catch ups than I would have ever thought I'd be comfortable with - many were from me putting myself out there as well (which is weird). These I love, and I need to remember that they are networking, just as much as a room full of people.So there were all of these nudges towards saying yes to this event last night - or more importantly, a lot of nudges towards getting off my arse; out of my secluded little world; and connecting with people! I have secluded myself a bit too much in the last couple of weeks - yes I've been busy, but that is no excuse.I'm still in pull mode at the moment, and I need to shift back into PUSH! I need to do this to keep the habit going; because I'm trying to promote a book; but largely because I do enjoy meeting new people and seeing how I might be able to contribute to their life in a positive and meaningful way.How about you? Are you are natural networker? Or are you like me, and avoid those situations - but really enjoy them when you do go along? How do you make sure you are pushing yourself out there?